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Heaven and Hell

13.4.2005

Every night I reach out for you in my dream
Desperate, as I get woken up by the suns first beam
My eyes burn, from all this uncried tears.
As I start to suppress all this unspoken fears
How can I even think of doing this?
Knowing from own experience, what’s in a kiss
How it breaks and shatters a fragile heart
And still, how can I move on and part
You’re like a drug, running through my veins
Flooding my senses, like the stormy rains
Your touch like fire on my cooled down skin
And all I can think of is this unholy sin.
Not sure, if this would be heaven or hell.
Struggling to get up, whenever I fell.
Enjoying, what we have at day time,
Cause in the end, you will never be mine.

The Web

17.04.2005

Caught again in this web of yours

Forgiving you for all our wars

Tempted by your offered peace

Hoping to get rid of this disease

Believing all your words again

As you tugged again at the chain

The one that held my feelings close

As they were fragile like a rose

Tried, but couldn't let them freeze

As they are troubled like the stormy seas

Helped you to create something new

But you gave up, no chance for you

And the feelings came back

My soul shivering under the new attack

Tracking me down like a missile of pain

Letting me feel, like a loser again.

 

Does it feels like this...

25.4.2005

Is it like this a soldier feels?
When he hears his enemies squeals
When the bullet hits their chest
Splashing blood over the rest
This incredible pain and screams
Do they fill the soldier’s dreams?

Is it like this when a killer kills?
Does it give him any thrills?
His victims begging for their life.
Showing no mercy with his knife.
Blood running down his chest
Is it for the victim’s best?

Is it that what a doctor sees?
His patient lying with his diseases
Seeing how he fights and crawls
In his attempt to survive it all.
Can the doctor heal the pain?
Or will he let him die in vain.

Is it this how a doomed man feels?
As he hears the guards step on his heels
Knowing death is behind the next wall
Will it go fast and the pain be small?
A shock or a sting, will end it
And nobody will remember it.

Is it like this my words felt?
Leaving marks like a welt.
Cutting through the tender skin
Watching his life run out in sin
Will he hate me like the others do?
Or just forget how close we grew.

Is it like this when you nearly killed someone?
Your chests tight as your feelings come undone
Your heart beating as if it wants to burst
But not of love, for the reason you feel cursed
Nothing you’ll do will make this every right
Even if you meant it good, you lost before you fight

One Of This Days

10.6.2005

Is this one of this day where you say you love me?
And all seems to shine in a light so bright and free
When the heart beats in joy and seems to burst
Overflowing with feelings, not expecting the worst
The wish to throw myself into your arms
Where you will keep me safe from all harms
But as I fly I seem to fall, and at the end
There is nothing left I can defend

How can this single word cause so much harm?
As I held it attached to my heart like a charm
Why does my heart fill with emptiness?
As you silently confess
Its nothing but words, just shallow doing
Breathtaking, charming and heartfelt wooing
Little girl with her heart open to see
All I wanted was a place to be
To be myself, together with you
But I guess after all we are thru
 

For Fraggle^Rock

19.6.2005

I sit in the middle of a hurricane
Words swirling around my head
I try to reach out, catching them
But they hit me in the head, so bad
The pain is not as bad as the one
I feel in my heart, as tears run
Wetting my cheeks as I look at u
The image blurry and fading a new
Unspoken words and a missed out chance
As the words twirl and letters dance
What shall I say, what can I do
To help your friends with what they go thru
1000 miles away from where you lie
I can just say one word and that’s 'Goodbye'

I wont forget you R.I.P
 

For My Love Steve

10.6.2005

There is someone who believes in you
Who knows what you’re going through
She stands beside you night and day
Will listen to whatever you have say
She will hold your hands in hers
Waving away all your searing fears
She has a smile for you when needed
And a gently word, even if unneeded
A kiss on the lips to light up your eyes
This is what she has as surprise
As she lays her heart into your hand
To make you finally understand
That she trusts in you, every day
And sees the strength you hold within
You’re not a runner, like you begin
You’re a fighter with a heart of steel
Just sense what’s inside and start to feel
 

A Screaming Soul

20.6.2005

My chest is tight from the pain inside
As I read your messages.
The words burn into my soul, my heart
What went wrong, this cold dark night?
That you did the unspeakable deed

My heart bleeds for you, as the door of doom close
Putting you out of my sight, for eternity
I hammer against the iron bars,
My tears running down my cheeks as I call your name
Please don’t take him away from me

You belong to me, as I belong to you
Two parts of one soul, torn apart
Thru time and distances
We came together one more time
Just to part again, till the next life

My mind tries to get a grip on what u did
But fails and shatters with my feelings
As I look at your picture, wishing, hoping
And once more I feel cursed by the sun
Who lets me live in the dark once more
 

Dragonlove

27.8.2005

I want to scream and cry out in agony

Why can't he be with me and free?

What is it that keeps us apart?

Who keeps bashing my fragile heart?

Why can't they jsut leave us alone?

And let us build a love filled home

We are meant to be together

In each others arms forever

Can't they see it and just let us be

I would do anything to get him free

Give all the money, even my life

Cause without him, I'll take a dive

He is my light, my love, my destiny

And I won't let go of the memory

We belong together like fire and ice

Now you people take my advice

Don't try to break us apart again

Or my wrath will be your pain

My curse will crush every bone

And when I see you lying there

In pain and agony, half dead

I will let you pay for the deed

My life for yours and you will suffer

'Cause in the end, I will be tougher.

 

 

The Mask

 

17.9.2005

 

A mask of happiness and all is good

While I secretly stuff my body with food

Cheery words for everybody's doom

As I dance around in this burning room

Laughing hysterical at someone's joke

Not really understanding what they spoke

The worries about my love and the pain

Getting worse , driving me nearly insane

I want to kick, to scram and yell

Cry out all this frustration that I fell

Punching the walls like he used to do

But all I do is smile and no-one has a clue

Images of him, tormenting my dreams

Feeling his pain while I'm in this realms

Like quicksand my feelings pull me down

The more I fight the faster I drown

And still I smile and laugh with friends

While the mask crumbles in my hands

Full Moon

16.12.2005

I look through the window and I see it rise
The big pearly moon, that I will praise
I leave my bed, ready to go
Holding the stone, admiring its glow
Blinking away the tears in my eyes
I think of his name, once...no twice
As I light the candles to burn the spells
Nothing can reach him, no cry, not yells
Rising my eyes high above me
Smiling at the moon, that will set me free
Silently I chant my words for her
Everything vanishing in my sights blur
My body sways in the shimmering gown
While the silent tears are running down
‘Please rip him out of my crying heart’
I beg as my mind seems to fall apart
And then I feel a soft caress
It’s just so soft, not ruffling my dress
I open my eyes, to see who’s there,
But all I see is the clear nightly air.
Smiling I give the moon a last look
As I grab my stone, my wand, my book.
I blow out the candles, the colour so red
And retreat to my chamber and into my bed